


over the edge (i'm just breathless)

by theomegapoint



Series: Kinktober 2018 [16]
Category: Jonas Brothers, Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: (the author says as if this is even remotely the worst thing she's written this month), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Body Worship, Kinktober 2018, M/M, forgive me Father for I have sinned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:19:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theomegapoint/pseuds/theomegapoint
Summary: “You look like an angel,” Nick hears himself say. “It's beautiful.”





	over the edge (i'm just breathless)

Nick doesn't remember how it started. He doesn't even quite remember how he met Shawn—everything blurs together when you've been in the industry as long as Nick has.

What he knows is this: Shawn is beautiful on his knees. He looks at Nick like he's the Messiah, and maybe ten years ago that wouldn't turn Nick on like it does now but oh. Oh, it's overwhelming to be looked at like you're the only thing that matters and Nick doesn't remember it being like this before. He holds out a hand, and Shawn kisses the tips of his fingers before taking two of Nick's fingers into his mouth. Nick idly moves them in and out of Shawn's mouth, watching the way that Shawn's eyes flutter closed.

“You look like an angel,” Nick hears himself say. “It's beautiful.”

Shawn catches Nick's hand and turns to to press a kiss to the center of Nick's palm. Rising, he kisses his way up Nick's arm until he reaches Nick's neck and kisses directly over the bond mark. Nick shivers. It's a strange thing, to be the center of a single person's attention. He used to performing for crowds, used to having a lot of people all looking at him, but this is so much closer. So much more intimate.

“Shawn,” Nick says. It's quiet, reverent. “Please.”

That's really all it takes to draw Shawn away from where he'd been concerned with laving his tongue Nick's bond mark. He kisses Nick, fingers deftly undoing the buttons of Nick's shirt and pushing it aside to expose skin. His hands are warm on Nick's skin, fingers tracing arcane patterns along Nick's ribs that mean nothing and everything.

Pulling away from Nick, Shawn returns to kissing every inch of available skin on Nick's chest. Nick shifts, shrugging out of his shirt as Shawn's hands fumble with the button to his jeans. There's something dirtywrong about whenever Shawn gets so absorbed in what he's doing that he forgets to take his own clothes off, leaving Nick exposed while he's still fully clothed, and that's why Nick says nothing as Shawn tugs his jeans down. Those are discarded, as are his underwear, and Shawn's still hellbent on kissing every part of Nick that he can get to.

Once, Nick had asked Shawn about it. It's not like he hated the experience of anything, but it _was_ kind of a weird thing and he just. It didn't seem like Shawn got anything out of it? And Shawn had given him that quiet huff of laughter, the _real_ indication of whether or not he was happy with something, and pressed a kiss to the corner of Nick's mouth.

_I get you_ , Shawn had said. _I get all of you, in ways nobody's had you before, maybe, and that's enough for me. That's all I want._

He still doesn't get it, really, but it had placated the parts of Nick that wondered if he was being selfish. If he was taking advantage. As long as Shawn knows what he wants, as long as Shawn wants to work him over until he's shivering and incoherent, then that's fine. It's better than fine, maybe.

“Love you,” Shawn mumbles into the skin of Nick's hip. “'m gonna miss you.”

“Give me something to remember you by,” Nick says, fingers running through Shawn's hair. He hisses when Shawn bites into the junction where his leg meets his hip, sucking on the mark to make it bloom. “Not what I meant, but sure.”

The words are unsteady, faltering in a way that Nick can't remember ever being the case for him before. He's not _afraid_ , exactly, just . . . It's hard to put into words how Shawn makes him feel. Vulnerable, maybe? Yeah, vulnerable. It's a weird feeling for an alpha, Nick thinks. Tradition dictates that he should go through life with a kind of swagger he's never been able to muster. Maybe that's why it's so easy for Shawn to unmoor him. Maybe that's why having every single scrap of Shawn's attention is overwhelming in the best way.

“Do you really have to go?” Nick knows the answer, but the question slips out of his mouth anyway. “Can't we just stay here forever?”

“ _You're_ the one leaving,” Shawn says. He ghosts his fingers over the length of Nick's cock before rubbing a thumb over the head. “ _I'm_ staying in the country.”

“Semantics.” That they're both leaving doesn't change the fact that Shawn is leaving him for three weeks. “I won't see you for three weeks.”

“Then I'd better make sure you don't forget me, eh?”

The corner of Shawn's mouth quirks up, and it's the only warning Nick gets before Shawn takes him into his mouth. His hips buck involuntarily, but Shawn's hands are there to hold him in place and keep the pace tortuously slow.

Once, in a moment of afterglow-induced, filterless honesty, Nick had touched his fingers to Shawn's mouth and said that sometimes it felt like he was trying to memorize every vein of Nick's cock with his tongue. Shawn had laughed, but it's still what Nick thinks every time Shawn goes down on him.

“ _Shawn_ ,” Nick begs. “Please, Shawn.”

Nick almost misses the way Shawn's gaze flicks upward. There's a smile in his eyes, and Nick knows that it's going to be one of _those_ nights where no matter how much he begs and whines, Shawn won't increase his pace until he's ready. Until he's reduced Nick to tears from wanting what Shawn won't give him. He should have known, honestly, every time they won't be seeing each other for a while, Shawn lays Nick out and makes sure to wreck him. To hide marks in places where people won't see, marks that Nick will look at for days and wish wouldn't fade. To give Nick enough that he won't forget this before they see each other again, as if every slow and excruciating kiss Shawn gives him isn't burned into his mind every time he closes his eyes.

It's going to be a long night.

**Author's Note:**

> I have lost control of my life and I don't know what to do about it.


End file.
